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Sunday, 2 June 2013

Birthday




My friend sent me this article:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jun/01/threw-out-drug-taking-son

It would be wonderful if it were that simple. It is a very candy coated article. I know my friend only wants to be supportive but, as I said, if only things were that simple. 

Today is my birthday and I am feeling sad that I am not going to have a day of fun with my family.



I hate this life that I somehow feel is false and not the one I should be living. It is not the life my three beautiful children should be living. It is broken, it is not whole, but broken things can be mended. Right? Or maybe not.....

As I was going to bed last night, I asked my son if he could at least clean up all the mess he made in the kitchen with his "poppy tea". I explained that it is the least he could do since he forgot it was my birthday the next day and I would rather not wake up to a mess on my birthday. He replied that if he remembers he might, but since he will be drinking during the night he might forget! Lovely.


This morning my daughters came into my room to wish me a happy birthday and told me to snooze while they go and make me breakfast and bring it to me. All the while my son was in his room next door and never came in to wish me a happy birthday, but eventually shouted it out from his room.



I had my breakfast with the company of my wonderful daughters. They gave me their home-made cards and apologised for not having more and having no gifts for me. All the while my son is in front of his computer. My daughters should not feel sorry, but I think my son should. At 10:30 am he informs me that he is "going to bed" and for me to wake him up at 1 pm with a handful of caffeine pills. I made some crass comments such as, "you can spend time and money on the computer for your own selfish reasons, but not to order your mother a birthday gift?", "I do not want to hang around all day waiting until you want to be woken up and then spending hours trying to wake you up", "you should be starting the day, not going to bed",  "Well, I might not even be here at 1 pm". His responses were,  "Your birthday just snuck up on me!", "I need to buy things for myself",  "I need to get to a chemist by 4 to buy codeine", "don't try to get me angry and ruin my sleep", "you need to wake me up".

Drug addiction destroy your health, your mind, your personality, your friendships, your family relationships, your future. It also destroys the people you love by making them live a lie and go against their morals or beliefs or making them see and hear and feel things they otherwise wouldn't. This has an impact on not only the relationships but also on these people's personal well being.




The woman and her husband in the article did not kick their son out, she took him in the car to some sort of "hostel" where the boy had to go to meetings about his addiction. He seemed to go willingly, yet upset of course about it. He stayed, willingly and did what was expected of him. This is not being thrown out into the street. If I managed to ever take my son to such a place, he would not stay. Like I said, that article was very candy coated and living with someone who has become a different person due to their addiction is not an easy thing, but getting them out and them seeking help is even harder and not done with such ease. Yet I still hope and believe: